Swanton Township Trustees Announce Your House Will Only Kind of Burn Down Now
Swanton Township's proposed fire coverage zones, as interpreted by Tony Dub's Department of Wishful Thinking.
SWANTON TOWNSHIP, Ohio — Swanton Township trustees announced that residents can rest easier knowing their homes will now only kind of burn down while three local governments determine which fire department is contractually obligated to save them.
Trustees approved a two-year, $430,000 agreement with the Village of Swanton, citing concerns that other options could bring back emergency response times of 15 or 16 minutes.
"Under the old arrangement, residents could expect a complete loss of their home," Trustee Mike Nowicki said. "With these new contracts, we're targeting a 30 to 40 percent reduction in total devastation."
A draft map divides the township into three fire protection zones: blue for Swanton, yellow for Springfield Township and red for "possibly Whitehouse." Officials insist the red zone is red for unrelated reasons.
Resident Gary Smolder said he plans to drag burning furniture across jurisdictional boundaries if necessary.
"I'm just hoping the flames know which township they're in," Smolder explained.
Whitehouse, whose current contract expires Dec. 31, has approached the opportunity with the enthusiasm of someone being asked to help a friend move a sectional sofa.
"They haven't technically said no," resident Doug Ashford explained. "It's more of a 'we saw your text and are hoping you eventually figure something else out.'"
Springfield Township is expected to continue protecting Toledo Express Airport, which trustees agreed made sense since it already has "Toledo" in its name and therefore became Toledo's problem years ago. "We defer to anyone with fighter jets," Nowicki commented. He continued, "Besides, it should really be called the Swanton Township Express Airport."
Springfield also maintains emergency access to approximately 45 businesses through specialized lockboxes that would cost $27,000 to replace.
"Buildings can be rebuilt," Trustee Matt Beil remarked. "But $27,000 worth of perfectly good lockboxes? That's where we draw the line."
The township's $580,000 fire reserve is expected to run dry by mid-2029, making it the fastest-burning structure in Swanton Township.
Residents will be notified of their assigned fire department as soon as practical, preferably before needing one.
The fire, meanwhile, has declined to participate in contract negotiations.
Original reporting: Toledo Free Press — Swanton Township approves fire contract with village